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We continue our regular Fantasy Festival
feature with Jazz Festival Committee member Albert Mason
giving us the benefits of his fantasies. You will remember
the ground rules : our guest is in sole charge of arranging
the weekend jazz festival : money is no object and everyone
– whether living or long dead - is available and, of course,
eager to appear at Marsden. Albert met up with fellow
Committee member Alan Burnett (AB) to discuss his plans.
AB:
Can you recall your initial introduction to music?
AM:
Saw the first light of day in London’s dockland, true
eastender but not quite a cockney. Parents subsequently
moved south of the Thames to Woolwich, the Royal Artillery
garrison town. The main barracks has an enormous parade
ground. I recall as a lad watching the soldiers ceremonially
parade here, led by an impressive brass band. The precision
of the counter marching fascinated me, more so than the band
music. Nevertheless, this really was my initiation to music
– the rhythm – in order that the soldiers marched in
absolute unison.
AB:
OK Albert, so you’re a Londoner and, I believe, a Charlton
Athletic fan. What on earth are you doing in Marsden?
AM:
: I moved here twelve years ago from North Hertfordshire and
before that London (my local team was CAFC and somebody has
to support them). When my family was young we had holidays
in the north of England, where I always fancied to settle on
permanent holiday. So I decided to settle somewhere in
Yorkshire. I knew of Holmfirth from the television so I
headed for there and started to explore. I saw a house for
sale in Marsden and on the day of my visit about a foot of
snow had fallen. I was amazed by the peaceful view across
the moors and I became hooked. I found a super community
spirit, plenty of social activity and even better views once
the snow had cleared. And bonus upon bonus, I discovered the
Marsden Jazz Festival.
AB
: Ah, yes : the festival. We had better make a start as you
seem to have approached the task with typical Masonesque
meticulousness. What have you got for us for Friday night?
AM:
Before we get into details of the Festival, can I elaborate
briefly my general thoughts about music and entertainment.
All music, particularly when experienced live, is
tremendous. Some aspects are more enjoyable, depending on
taste. Jazz slots in there somewhere, with many
subdivisions. Those which activate my internal metronome are
: swing; Dixieland/traditional; and blues (Chicago blues –
more electric rhythm-n-blues – as opposed to Southern Delta
traditional “blues feelings”). The result of my metronome
being activated is uncontrollable foot-tapping, in accord
with the melody and rhythm of the music. So hey! Hey! Here
we go with my programme. Whoop-hee.
AB:
Right, down to business.
 AM:
Friday night. We need to start the festival in the right
frame of mind and for that we need Bob Kerr and his Whoopee
Band. I think humour in music is very important and Bob and
the band will have everyone laughing. But I want to
supplement his band with one or two additional musicians. On
“sweet trombone” I want Scotsman, George Chisholm, a
wonderful raconteur and full of humour. He will be joined by
Sid Phillips on “mellow clarinet” and a special rhythm
section featuring : Jerry Lee Lewis on piano and backing
vocals, Sebastian Rochford on drums (for his manic style of
drumming) and – who else but – Ben Crosland on bass.
Finally, Spike Jones up front on vocals, but without his
City Slickers, the Whoopee Band will be adequate support.
AB
: That’s quite a line-up. You’re certainly pushing things to
the limit.
AM
: I’ve hardly started yet! I want to squeeze in a couple of
special guests : Sophia Loren and Peter Sellers. They could
do their duet of “Goodness Gracious Me”, and we could get
Peter to close the show with his rendition of “A Hard Day’s
Night” in the form of Shakespeare’s Richard III soliloquy.
What a tremendous way to finish the evening.
AB
: Great, so let us move on to Saturday.
AM
: No, no. We have all the other Friday venues to cover yet!
Now at the Hey Green I would invite Clive Powell and Mary
O’Brien.
AB:
Never heard of them.
AM:
Yes you have. You always say you would have Georgie Fame
with the Blue Flames. Well they would accompany Dusty
Springfield, provided she sings her Memphis period “Son of a
Preacher Man” repeatedly. At Crumbals-On-The-Corner, which
was one of our most successful new venues last year, I want
the cabaret style and unusual voice of Blossom Dearie
singing to her own piano accompaniment. Finally, I am
introducing a new venue and I am turning Angie’s kitchen
into a Bistro. Performing there will be Django Reinhardt and
Stephane Grappelli. I saw Stephane once, with the Diz Dizzly
Trio. His warm-up routine was to take three fingers of good
malt whisky before going on stage. I cannot think of a
better way.
AB
: Saturday?
AM
: Saturday will start with one of my favourite Marsden
events which is the Albert Poets who always do a Saturday
morning session. They were not named in my honour, they took
the name from the Huddersfield hotel where they used to have
regular meetings. I want to supplement the regular line-up
with Simon Armitage, whose parents Audrey and Peter are
still Marsden residents, and the Barnsley poet, Iain
MacMillan, I just love his droll humour. Compare to be the
Radio 2 DJ Mark Radcliffe – he and the two poets are great
buddies. And as special guests I’ll have Sir John Betjeman
(for his nostalgic and humorous verse) and Spike Milligan
(for his maverick, somewhat eccentric view of life). I saw
Dame Cleo at a charity concert in Letchworth, Herts, back in
the mid-70s. Spike’s poem “Teeth” was set to music by
husband John Dankworth and an hilarious rendition was given
by Dame Cleo with encore.
AB
: I am not sure that the Swan is available this year, and
anyway, we could never fit that lot in.
AM
: I have thought of that. I want them meandering around the
village, in busking format, atop a 1960 flat-back coal
lorry.
AB
: So would they take the place of the traditional marching
band?
AM
: No, but I would change the normal formula. As I have said,
my introduction to music was listening to the military bands
playing at the Royal Artillery parade ground in London.
Every couple of years a tattoo was presented by the Regiment
at their open-air stadium. From this time I would have the
American Air Force Marching Band. This was my first taste of
jazz : they played St Louis Blues. Wow. A few decades have
flowed past, but if I close my eyes, still I can see the
band marching. Counter and cross angle marching without
crashing, whilst reading music and playing. Sickening that
some folk have so much talent. No doubt that this is the
band for the village parade. Instead of the traditional
umbrella parade, I would have the San Francisco 49’ers
American Football Team Cheer Leaders. The route for the
parade would be different as well as I would close the A62
Manchester Road and divert the traffic via the M62. This
would create an interesting risk assessment for the police!
AB
: OK, take us through the rest of Saturday.
AM
: Right. For the Saturday afternoon Marsden Mechanics
concert an invitation to Zoe Rahman Trio. She is a
tremendous young jazz pianist, born of a Yorkshire mother
and Bangladeshi father.
AB
: Consider her booked, I’m keen to hear her as well.
AM
: At the Mechanics on Saturday evening it would be a double
bill : Nat King Cole …. and his daughter Natalie.
AB
: Did they ever perform together?
AM
: I’m not sure. But I saw Natalie at the NEC in the early
90s. For one sequence, there was a screen above the stage
upon which was projected a film of her father singing to
which Natalie sang a duet. It would be fun to see them do it
for real. Moving on : the rules say that I can have anything
I want don’t they?
AB
: errr Yes?
AM
: Right, I want the orginal Stables venue of John Dankworth
and Cleo Laine transporting from their Wavendon , Bucks,
estate to the Tunnel End Visitors Centre Car Park. This will
be the venue for Ray Charles with Van Morrison, Lena Horne
and the Raelettes backing group. We will need to
re-establish the Canal Bus service to get jazzers to the
venue.
AB
: Onwards, onwards.
AM
: Saturday afternoon at St. Bartholomew’s Church I want the
Sid Lawrence Orchestra, led by the man himself and with
Ronnie Verrule on drums, providing his arthritis will permit
him to play. Somehow he manages to lever himself into
position on his drumming stool, then lets rip at the skins.
Will have the orchestra fronted by two angelic voices : Eva
Cassidy and Matt Monroe. Both believed that they did not
have real singing talent. Thank goodness they were persuaded
otherwise. St Barts is known locally as Colne Valley
Cathedral. The gargantuan volume of this magnificent
building has acoustic resonance. All the performers will do
it justice.
AB
: Is that everything for Saturday?
AM
: By no means. At the Parochial Hall I want Zoot Money with
his Great Roll Band. I saw George (Zoot) perform at the
“Band On The Wall” venue in Manchester. By the end of the
evening both he and the audience were exhausted – hopefully
the same would be true at the PH. At the Wine Bank I want
McKinley Morganfield (guitar and vocals) coupled with Jimmy
Smith (Hammond Organ). And finally at Crumbals I require a
little bit of construction work carrying out. I want a
three-tier dais to accommodate the Huddersfield University
Big Band. Singing with the band would be Etta James, Bessie
Smith and Ma Rainey. Etta could conclude the evening with
her trademark rendition of “I Just Want To Make Love To You”
(3 minutes of raucous passionate singing). To accommodate
the whole line-up, the Tapas supper would have to be served
al fresco! (tell Lisa I am only joking). Two final requests
for the Saturday. Masterclass invitation to extrovert,
communicative Sir Simon Rattle. For the midnight concert I
want Ian Dury because of his sophisticated humour and his
fight against physical adversity. Also let’s include the
Blockheads for the mesmeric drumming of Dylan Howe
AB
: The whole of Sunday to go and very little space left!
AM
: This will be a long day to fit in all my requirements. I
will try my best. To start the day I want Chris Rea, the
best blues songwriter and slide guitarist in the business. I
want Chris’ regular backing group augmenting slightly. John
Mayall on keyboard and blues harp (John is known as the
“Godfather of British Blues”) and B.B. King. I once heard
B.B. King interviewed and he stated: “after 50 years of
practice, I still cannot sing and play simultaneously”. So
I would have him along just for his guitar playing. A
backing group made up of Long John Baldry, Joe Cocker and
Alan Price (also with his keyboards).
AB:
Where are you staging this event?
AM:
I wish to have an outdoor stage setting, above the village
at Shooters Nab Ridge. The sun rises above here at MJF time:
a magnificent aesthetic backdrop for the concert
commencement – this would mean an 08.00 start. Gigantic TV
screens installed all the way down the valley, together with
banks of speakers delivering 500,000 watts output will avail
adequate coverage. I am sure this would out-gig many stadium
held events. Pow!!!
AB:
Pow indeed. How do you follow that up?
 AM:
At the United Church service I want the Chris Barber Band
(my initiation to traditional Dixieland foot-tapping jazz
over 50 years ago at the Shakespeare Hotel in Woolwich). At
the Hey Green on Sunday lunch-time I want the Oscar Peterson
Trio who will have, as special guest, Fred Astaire singing
and dancing. Perhaps he could whisper into Ginger’s
shell-like to accompany him – a blissful bonus. A standing
audience will allow a fluid environment for them to dance
anywhere around the lounge. On Sunday afternoon there will
be a massive marquee covering the whole of the football
field to have a battle of the bands featuring Duke
Ellington, Count Basie, Lionel Hampton and Stan Kenton. The
declared winner will be presented with a champion’s
substantial remuneration. The other three will have to go
home to have a rent party in order to alleviate their
out-of-pocket expenses. And for the conclusion to the
weekend, I want Manchester’s’ Bridgewater Hall taking down
piece-by-piece and re-erecting on the Old Railway Goods
Sidings Car Park (same as engineered repositioning of
Rameses II temples from Aswan Dam project at Abu Simbel,
Egypt – you could not see the joins). This would provide the
impressive venue for the final concert which would feature
the Benny Goodman Orchestra. Providing he plays his well
known piece “Sing, Sing, Sing” a la the famous 1938 Carnegie
Hall concert, I will be happy. I have a live recording of
the concert with frenetic drum solo by Gene Krupa. 12 mins
06 sec of pure musical bliss. I shall take this opportunity
to ask pianist Teddy Wilson what his aside comment was when
he started his solo in this historic recording. I have
almost worn out my CD trying to decipher what he said. This
concert should send everyone home happy.
AB:
Phew. What a weekend.
AM:
Yes indeed. Being ever-optimistic, perhaps we could persuade
Kirklees Council to fund the entire festival. Anyway, this
festival could only be presented in Marsden, because of the
Marsden Magic which prevails here. I would request Dr Who
the loan of his Tardis so that I could be present at every
gig - utopia.
AB:
Albert, thank you so much for sharing your plans with us.
AM:
Thanks Alan for your extreme patience with this Luddite,
listening to my whimsical ideas as producer of the ultimate
Marsden Jazz Festival.. Also thanks to our mate Steve for
his moral support at Lunch Club meetings. |
